I have a very good friend that began a blogging challenge that she found called the A to Z April Challenge. She sent it to me and I found it intriguing... but one thing or another... April rolled around and I didn't start it. However, I just read her blog and I love how authentic and honest she's being; how finding a topic based on a letter has allowed her to focus and be inspired. So... although I'm a little (ok... a lot) behind, I've decided to start my own. I'm not officially joining the challenge so we'll just consider this a personal one.
When thinking of my "A", I thought of many words, "adventure," "art," "amazing" and "authentic", to name a few - but right now, I'm struggling with being present in my life. I've been longing to simply "check out" and regroup, which is a comfortable and safe place for me but also an ivory prison. So pretty, but I'm trapped, nonetheless. And although there is a place for that and it can be very healing, I also find that it makes me absent from my life. When I'm in that state of mind, I allow life to pass me by, which in turn causes me to feel stuck. Being stuck makes me want to push back on life and people until something breaks or shifts. All around, it's a vicious cycle and not particularly productive.
So, I've been asking myself how to stop being absent in my life without creating strife and anxiety. How do I reengage when the urge is strong to stay hidden? I'm not sure of the answers yet... but I'm still asking questions.