Tuesday, April 17, 2012

E is for Effervescent

Joyously unrestrained...

I have been described as "bubbly," "vivacious," "spirited" and "full of the essence of life" - in other words, effervescent. In my positive moments, I would absolutely agree with those adjectives. I love the images that the word conjures and how it captures a youthful joy in life and experience.

I'm not, however, feeling very effervescent lately. At times I feel bogged down with the details of life, as though the struggle to survive is more than can be tolerated. I long, at times, to walk with another - someone to share the journey with, the heartache and triumphs. "And what I wouldn't give to find a soul mate? Someone else to catch this drift. And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred?" (Thank you, Alanis Morissette.)

If you explore the history of this blog, you'll know that I had intended to do a Happiness Project this year. Oh boy did that go to hell in a hand-basket fast. (wry smile) I was so inspired after reading Gretchen Rubin's book and so excited to see how much happiness I could create in my own small corner of the world. Well... 2012 has started off being one of the most difficult challenges I've ever experienced. "Happiness" seems to have come second to "survival."

Perhaps happiness is a choice... simply making the decision to be so and you are so. Part of me absolutely believes that. Another part of me says... "but..." I know that the state of being effervescent is a natural state for me; that my curiosity in the world around me eventually rises to the surface and helps me recapture that "joyously unrestrained" feeling once again. I hope I find that state of being again soon...

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