I won't go so far as to say that all frogs are princes because that certainly wouldn't be the case. But, barring a serious case of narcissism, sociopathy/psychopathy or a ginormous dose of cluelessness, I think that many frogs could be royalty, if kissed by the right person.
Let me 'splain... I think that the divorce rate is so high because most people "love the one they're with" or make decisions based on fear of being alone rather than finding the one they want to say "yes" to. I think that if more people waited, well, I'm not saying the relationship wouldn't end... but perhaps the experience would be worth the journey. I think we expect too little; we undervalue ourselves... we replay those dysfunctional tapes that our parents programed and repeat their patterns... and then sadly, we pass those patterns along to our children. I believe we should begin as we intend to continue and that we teach people how to treat us. If we accept or allow someone to treat us poorly early on, then we've given them permission to treat us poorly in the future.
However, I'm asking for something different. I'm asking for something amazing. My amazing will look different from your amazing... and that's totally okay. As long as I think my situation is mostly (no one is perfect) a wonderful fit for me, well then, I've won the lottery. And well, while I'm at it, we all have baggage so if we can look at each others' baggage and think, "yup, that's a load I can and am willing to help carry" well, perhaps we have some place to start. I think that each relationship is different and that we must create a different dynamic with that individual from the one that we'd created with another... because people are different... needs are different and the chemistry created is different.
I had a second date with a guy today who was perfectly nice and attractive, etc., etc. I had a great, very intelligent, real conversation with him the two times we went out. BUT... and it's a big but... I didn't feel that spark. I didn't feel that little thing inside that makes me want to board the train and see where it takes me. I suspected the lack of chemistry on the first date but I've been told many, many times that I'm too picky and that I don't give people enough of a chance. Perhaps... but I've seen the men that they date and opted to be a little more picky... then to pick men like they had. I've experienced a dynamic that allowed me to feel as though the foundation and chemistry created would allow me to reach for the stars. I'd realized that with the "right" person, I am frickin' fabulous at relationships. I am all I want to be: open, honest, giving, a partner... and so on. I want that again. But I want amazing. I frickin' deserve something awesomely amazing! And so, when this very nice man stated that he really liked me and wanted to spend more time with me, I kindly told him that I wasn't experiencing the same thing. I felt it better... and ultimately kinder... to end it early. You see, I would much rather be told early on that "he's just not that into me" than to build up hopes and dreams... only to be crushed like a bug later.
For those reading my blog regularly, you know that I've had a tough breakup and perhaps it's too soon to start dating... but then again, perhaps it isn't. I have always trusted my intuition. Upon rare occasions its led me down paths that I didn't expect and to places that I'd perhaps rather not gone... but in all cases, I came out stronger, wiser and with a greater sense of self-worth. I haven't wanted to say "yes!" often but when I have, it turned into an invaluable experience.
And because I'm worth it... I'll keep kissing frogs, hoping that one day... I'll turn into a prince.