random thoughts on love, life, and fiction: Ode to a Breathtakingly Beautiful Person


My grandma and I - early 1970's

February is the month of love and has inspired me to tell you about the most amazing person in the whole wide world... my grandma.

Born Mary Lucille Condo, on December 5th, this beautiful baby would grow up to be one of the most influential people in my life. Known to those that loved her as "Lucy," she wouldn't climb great mountains, attend a prestigious college or solve some world crisis. She wouldn't stand up for human rights or teach me how to be a strong feminist... She would simply love me unconditionally; and that made all the difference.

When she was in her early 30's it was discovered that she had a brain tumor. At that time, the removal was comparable to a partial lobotomy and so the woman that I knew growing up was very Forrest Gump-like. Her world was simple and she saw beauty, kindness and generosity in the simplicity. Despite being married for a time to an abusive man who likely devastated her emotionally, she always found a way to forgive. She didn't let him destroy her soul... her kindness. When he finally left her with nothing, she became a dishwasher at a Taco House and because she couldn't afford a car, she walked, every day, to and from work. A few years later, she became a dishwasher at a nursing home, where she remained for roughly 25 years. She never missed a day of work. She found ways to compensate for her short term memory impairment. She wouldn't get a checking account until the last 4 years of her life and so to manage her money, she would get envelops and put money away each paycheck for each of her bills. She was creative in that way.

When I was little, as so many kids caught in a divorce are, I became the casualty in my parents' battle and my grandma was my safe haven. There were a number of years when I lived with her growing up. I remember her intense love of all things sweet and her particular love of Count Chocula, root beer and Winchell's donuts. I remember her smile and how, as I grew older, she initiated more hugs and kisses. How every Friday for years I would take the afternoon off so that I could go to Pizza Hut where we would sit in the same booth, with the same waiter, eating the same food... but she loved it. And, I loved spending my Fridays with her. She never spouted great words of advise or awed me with her profound insight... but she listened. And she taught me how to listen. She loved to buy me shoes. It didn't matter whether I needed something else, it was always shoes she wanted to buy me. I remember her wearing her light blue jeans and moss green t-shirt - her "day off" clothes. I remember her keeping a bag of socks with holes in them because someday she planned on darning them.

One August evening, while walking home from work, she was hit by a car and four days later passed away. I remember feeling hollow for quite a while. I don't remember the day of her death because I choose to celebrate her life and the wonderful gifts that she gave to everyone.

And so, Grandma, this is my ode to you... the most amazing person I've known. In the words of Natalie Merchant...

Kind and Generous

You've been so kind and generous

I don't know how you keep on giving

For your kindness I'm in debt to you

For your selflessness, my admiration

And for everything you've done

You know I'm bound...

I'm bound to thank you for it

You've been so kind and generous

I don't know how you keep on giving

For your kindness I'm in debt to you