Oh No!

I've already mentioned that I'm a nurse and today I had one of those moments when you shake your head and think "really?!?!"

We have a resident who was wonderful. EVERY time I saw her, I simply wanted to smile. She was the sweetest person there. About a week ago we discovered that she had gone into liver failure and she was quickly put on hospice. I was working in a different area and hadn't heard much about her situation. Today I heard that she had gone down hill fast and was now entirely bedridden. Fearing that she would pass over the weekend (it's my off weekend)... or even this evening, I kept reminding myself to go over to say "goodbye" to her.

A little before lunch, I decided to head over. I walked into her room and her skin was pretty yellow but she's dying so that's not entirely unusual. I ran my hand over her hair and said, "oh... (insert name)." And, as I'm looking at her, I realize that she's not breathing. I reach for her wrist and don't feel a pulse; so I grab my stethoscope and listen... nope, no heartbeat. I go out of the room and report to the charge nurse on that side (I was charge in the other area) that she's passed. Fortunately, the charge was already aware of that and she had JUST passed, literally minutes before I went in.

I'm terribly heartbroken because she was such a wonderful, sweet lady. At the same time, I find humor in the fact that I'm in there, stroking her hair and getting ready to say "goodbye" only to discover that she'd already gone. Really?!?! Though I've always had a bit of a twisted sense of humor, I find that it's become enhanced since working in the medical field. But, I guess you have to find humor in sad situations or it would all just wear you down.

... Goodbye, D! Rest in peace! You and your wonderful smile and sweet disposition will be thoroughly missed!!